The easiest and most effective way to change how you feel: empowering self-talk.
It feels so good to be nice.
It is also such a shame that we cannot record how we talk to ourselves. The record would make an interesting, if not life-changing listen, as some of the things we recite in our head are so cruel and disappointing and stupid we would never talk to a friend like that.
Our experiences begin inside. Constant self-doubt and inner criticism makes us critical and suspicious on other people too. The better we treat ourselves, the better our relationships are and, the more we have to give to the world.
Focusing on our flaws is a form of chronic stress. Our body responds to negative thinking just like it responds to other stressful situations. When you escape a bear but manage get away and not to be eaten you go ‘ooh, that was close’ and feel the relief.
But as you never get a vacation from your mind and body, once you start feeding your inner critic, and believing what it says, it thrives.
You add to the stress, say, every time you pass a mirror, and every time you think someone is more charming than you, and every Friday after the office meeting you think did not go well for you.
But instead of noticing it is your mind that stresses you out, you blame your body for being flawed, or your workplace for having a negative atmosphere.
And it does! So stop fueling that negativity.
The voice inside never stops. But as you become aware of it more, you gain more power over the streams of thought in your head.
You learn which are the ones that you do not want to keep fueling. And you learn to catch new kinds of thought streams. Be more compassionate. Say supportive and empowering things to yourself.
Becoming wise is about becoming kind in a truly profound way.